Honesty.

Just a little blurb about honesty in relationships- this is something I learned the hard way.
Honesty doesn't just mean being honest about the crap you do wrong in a relationship. If you're used to lying and you decide to be truthful all of a sudden, that's great. Really. However, that's not enough. It's not enough to just be honest about the things you have done wrong, or the things you don't like.
I think that's the main point. Of course it takes courage to tell someone when something that they do doesn't sit well with you. It takes courage to have a voice in a relationship and be strong enough to express that.

Honesty is more than that. When people say you have to be honest in a relationship, it means being honest about everything. When you're in need, feeling generous, feeling amorous, feeling cranky, hungry, sad, happy, pretty, ugly, fat, creative- you have to fill the other person in. Don't misunderstand me. I do not mean to say that partners should inundate each other with senseless, menial details about their lives. Some things are better left unsaid- if they are without consequence. (That whole concept is a blog in and of itself, and one I am not going to write tonight) If you feel strongly about something, and the other person can help, it's only fair to include them in on the secret.

It's not always easy and sometimes I want to be the "cool" girlfriend, the one who doesn't care about anything, doesn't need to express herself for fear of being the irrational, overemotional crazy person. But really, if I don't say what's on my mind, all those moments of silence rack up inside my heart and eventually I become that person anyway. Instead, chipping away little moments as they come- being honest without being confrontational- ease the burden.