Even though today is one of the rare blue-skied October mornings here in the Pacific Northwest, my post today is about grey skies and clouds. I remember when I first lived here, the colorless skies were a welcome addition to my tortured artist outlook. I can also recall before I left California, letting my skin soak up extra sunshine because I was so afraid that I would never see it again.
The last week has brought rain. Wind, clouds, a serious chill in the air. Eric and I have both brought out our winter clothes, donning jackets and hats, scarves and tights (moreso me on the tights- Eric only wears them inside, on Sundays). Walking down to my car in the subbasement of our building even requires an extra layer. I expected that I would start feeling depressed. I expected that I'd long for the sun, want to claw out my eyes at the sight of grey. That I'd somehow not be able to handle things. I guess I sort of wanted to chicken out- and the weather was an easy excuse.
No excuses, though. Not anymore. No more, "I don't have a man." No more, "Well, I live in Fresno. I can't possibly flourish." No more, "I don't know what to do with my life." There are no more excuses! I am where I want to be, emotionally, geographically, soulfully. I'm here. And, ain't no grey skies gonna mess with that.
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1 comment:
You're the best.
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